


Being loved by you

by Dreamer55



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Hurt Stiles, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Scott is a Bad Friend, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Hatred, Stiles is Pushed Out of the Pack, Werewolf Jackson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 23:39:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8642686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamer55/pseuds/Dreamer55
Summary: Five times Stiles feels worthless, because of the pack and one time someone makes him feel exactly the opposite.





	1. 1 & 2

**1**

  
Stiles knew that he wasn’t the best-looking person out there.

  
His self-confidence has always been shitty, but it just got worse when Scott got bitten. Especially when turning into a werewolf meant looking like the guy every girl wanted and being surrounded by the popular kids at high school every day.

  
He knew that he couldn´t compete with Scott, Jackson or Isaacs´ bodies, the muscles that you could even see under their t-shirts, which left girls, and on occasion even guys swooning over them, or with Allison or Lydias´ pretty faces or, god forbid, with the Greek god that was Derek Hale.

  
He knew that his boring brown hair and his brown eyes and his skinny, lanky figure wasn´t the material that the hot guys were made of and that his hyperactive behaviour and his tendency to rant weirded a lot of people out.

  
But knowing it and hearing it from someone else were a huge difference.

  
The first time someone actually confirmed the hateful thoughts he had about himself, he was sitting in the only good pizzeria in Beacon Hills at the end of a big table, where the pack had decided to host the weekly pack meeting.

  
Stiles head was resting on his hand, while he was admiring Derek from afar. The alpha was explaining something to Scott while wild gesturing, his eyes shining and his body fully relaxed in his seat. Stiles smiled. He loved seeing this Derek, who wasn´t as broody as he one once was and actually felt comfortable around his pack.

  
Stiles didn´t even know when his feelings about the older man changed from distrusting and hostile to the affectionate warm feeling he got in his chest now. Probably around the time when Derek first showed who the person underneath the masks he wore was. This person, who cared so much and was so protective of his new pack, one who was amazing overall.

  
Okay, it was probably safe to say that Stiles was half way in love with the older man. But who could blame him?

  
Stiles was pulled out of his thoughts, when he heard someone snicker beside him and whisper: “Stop staring, you creeper.”

  
Stiles first reaction was to choke on the water he was drinking and turn with wide eyes around to look at a smirking Jackson in front of him to ask disbelievingly: “Excuse me?”.  
“You heard me right, Stilinski”, he said, the smirk still on his face, while he leaned forward out of his seat until Jacksons face was only millimetres away from Stiles own.” Your little crush on our alpha didn’t go unnoticed, but honestly you have to know that he´s way out of your league.”

  
Stiles flinched, because god did this sting, but was fast to put a smile on his face, that was so fake that it almost hurt and retort: “Jealous, Jackson?” “In your dreams, Stilinski. Just wanted to make sure my alpha wouldn´t be bothered with your weird ways to hit on someone.”

  
And with that Jackson got up, took his chair and walked on the other side of the table, sitting down next to Lydia, slinging his arms around her, a smug look on his face when he was almost immediately integrated in the conversation by the rest of the pack, while Stiles was left sitting alone.

  
And if he had to blink a few times so that he didn’t start crying and if he had panic attack later at home and didn’t sleep more than two hours the whole night because his brain wouldn’t stop repeating the hurtful words over and over and if his anxiety was so bad the next day, that he couldn’t stop shaking, well nobody had to know. Nobody cared anyway.

**2**

  
The second time it happened was a Monday.

  
Stiles had already forgotten (read: suppressed) the whole incident with Jackson and was back to his loud, talkative self.

  
Today his ADHD was extra bad, so Stiles was twitching in his seat, staring at the clock on the wall, wishing that the clock hand would just move a little bit faster, so that the school bell could declare the end of the period and the start of the lunch time.

  
He desperately wanted to see his friends, which he hasn’t seen since the morning, because he couldn´t wait to tell them about the A he got on his chemistry assignment even through his teacher Mister Harris hated him with a burning passion and tried everything to give him bad grades and detention just to torture him.

  
Stiles couldn’t help but feel a little bit smug and he just wanted to brag to someone for a little bit, because it didn’t happen often, that he and Mr Harris parted their ways after their lesson with Stiles feeling euphoric, while Harris had an expression on his face like he just bit into a lemon.

  
When Stiles finally heard the bell, he was quick to stuff his things into his backpack and sprint out of the room to the cafeteria, where he and the pack normally met.

  
But to his confusion, their usual table was empty when he arrived and when he looked around he couldn’t see any of his friends in the room. Deciding that they were probably just late, he sat down at the empty table, nervously playing with zipper of his hoodie, and letting his glance wander restlessly.

  
He could feel his anxiety flare up and something what felt suspiciously like the start of a panic attack, when the other students looked at him, because _theymustthinkheissoafreak_ and _hehatessittingalone_ and _whatifsomethinghappenedtothepack_.

  
After ten minutes, in which nobody showed up, he threw his backpack over his shoulder and decided that he was going to search through the whole school, because something must have happened. He knew that there was no way that his friends would have changed the meeting place, without telling him.

  
Stiles finally found them on the lacrosse field.

  
The first thing he saw was Scott and Allison both smiling like idiots and sitting on a blanket on the ground. Scott was telling something and he heard Allison’s loud and melodic laugh. Stiles smiled, he loved seeing his friends happy, and started to walk in their direction.

  
He stopped when he saw Jackson and Isaac jog to the pair and settle down next to them.

  
He froze again when he heard his name.

  
He watched silently as Jackson laughed at something that Scott said and then sighed. “Wasn´t it a good idea not to tell Stilinski about this. By now, I would have been crazy. The guy just doesn´t shut up.”

  
Stiles held his breath as he waited for his friends, for his best friend, to defend him but when they just agreed, he turned around walking back where he came from, unseen.

  
Stiles spent the rest of his lunch break in the bathroom, trying to keep the crying at a minimum, even though his heart felt like it had been ripped it two.

  
Nobody noticed anything, when he walked into his next class.

  
When Scott turned around making the puppy face and explaining to him how he had to stay in his maths class during lunch break, because his grades were so bad at the moment with all the werewolf stuff and how sorry he was that he didn’t meet him, Stiles forced a smile and told him that it´s okay and he understood it.

  
Stiles knew that maths was the only class were Scott’s grades were still great.

  
When he came home, there was nothing left of the euphoric feeling of the morning, just a numbness that went through his whole body.

  
He skipped dinner and went directly to bed.

  
It wasn´t just one time that he woke up during the night, sweating and gasping from the nightmare that tormented his sleep.


	2. 3

**3**

Stiles knew today would be an amazing day.

He felt it when he woke up, the excitement buzzing under his skin, while he rolled from his side on his back, smiling sleepy at the ceiling.

Okay, so maybe he had two periods of chemistry in the morning and maybe he would have to go to the lacrosse training in the afternoon, where he would embarrass himself in front of the whole team again, sue him.

He could be excited, because tonight he had plans with Scott.

Ever since they´ve been little they had this tradition.

It started when they were in kindergarten when every Friday night they would beg their parents to let them have a sleepover, because both little boys couldn´t imagine not seeing their best friend for two whole days.

Since then it always has been a fixed date, Friday was Scott-and-Stiles day.

And even if Scott and him didn´t meet last week because of pack business and the week before because of Allison and the week before that, because Scott had to study and even if they didn´t really saw each other outside of school and pack meetings for some time now, that didn´t mean anything.

They would catch up tonight on everything tonight.

 

\---

He knew it, as soon as Scott turned his head to him.

And maybe it should be alarming, that he immediately knew that Scott could only have bad news, when he would give him some attention during lunch period.

But he was just so used to it by now.

So it was not suprising at all, when Scott smiled apologetically and said: "Sorry, Bro, but we have to cancel today."

But that didn't mean it was hurting any less, always being the second choice, if even a choice at all.

And frankly he was getting a little angry by now.

"But, Scott we didn't meet last week either." His voice was a little raised and he felt the eyes from the rest of the pack on him.

Scott's smile turned a little forced.

"And I haven't seen Ali in two weeks. I've been so busy with pack stuff and I wonder who's fault it is, that I got into this in the first place."

Stiles insides turned to ice.

He couldn't believe it and he knew he was staring at Scott with wide eyes.

Scott knew that he felt guilty about dragging him into the woods that night and for every bad thing that happened to the pack after that.

Stiles swallowed, as Scott turned his back to him, looking at the table and at his half eaten apple on his lunch tray.

He felt sick.

What was he thinking?

He knew that he shouldn't be so greedy.

Scott was so busy and it was his fault, so the least he could do was let him have time with his girlfriend.

He was lucky that he still had Scott, that the popular boy didn't dump his loser friend on the next best occasion.

Still he missed those times when it was just Scott and him, the dream-team in kindergarten and best friends.

Scott, the boy, who helped him after his mum's death and through the times, when his father would drown his sorrows in alcohol and was drunk more often than not.

So he took a heart, cleared his throat and tapped lightly on Scott's shoulder.

He had already prepared himself for a defensive reaction, but nothing could have prepared him for the almost murderous look he was faced with as Scott turned back to him.

"What?", he was snapped at.

Stiles suppressed his first reaction, to cower and to apologise on the spot, swallowed and asked softly: "What about the weekend? I-I mean we could do something then?"

The dimissive, almost uninterested look in Scott's eyes told Stiles the answer to his question, before he even heard a word come out of his "best friends" mouth.

"No, sorry, don't have time on the weekend. I need to help my mum with something."

Stiles was uncomfortably aware of the glances of the pack at his back and the snickers behind him.

His weakly murmured answer: "Okay", sounded unconvincing even to his own ears.

He turned his head to the other side of the table, away from Scott, who hadn't even done so much like glanced at him, to see a smirking Jacksons and a tight-lipped Lydia observing him.

Stiles looked down.

His heart was heavy and he was so tired.

The kind of tired that makes you want to lay down in bed and never wake up again.

Never in his life had Stiles felt so lonely, especially not in a room with people who should be his friends.

 

\---

When he didn't leave the bed for the whole weekend, laying on his stomach, scrolling through his social media accounts, tiredly following the time the pack spent together, he didn’t even feel sadness.

He was just so numb.

And when he stumbled over a picture of Derek, laughing at something Isaac had said, his eyes shining, he just pretended his heart didn't hurt anymore.

Nothing mattered anyway.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the overwhelming postive reaction to the last chapter❤ If you like this one leave a kudo or comment or find me on tumblr @loraphie


	3. 4 & 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long wait...But here is the new chapter❤  
> I hope you still like it, lovelies and I would be so happy about feedback❤

**4**

It was never a secret, that Stiles Stilinksi had had a thing for Lydia Martin.

It had started in elementary school, when Lydia slapped a boy, who had dared to bully her, in the face. He ended with a broken nose, while she announced smiling, that he deserved it, for not only bad mouthing her, but all the other girls in her grade.

Since then, Stiles had thought she was like one of this bad ass female superheroes he saw on TV sometimes and he promised himself that this was the girl he would marry one day.

He was too young then, to realise that this would never ever happen.

* * *

 

Even though Stiles was no longer in love with the strawberry blonde girl,

(this role was now assigned to a certain Alpha werewolf)

(Figures, that he always fell for people soo out of his league)

the long period of having a crush on Lydia still left a mark on him.

Which meant that he still admired her, even if was just as a friend and he was sure (read: hoped), that while the girl was still not anywhere near really liking him, they had found a basis during researching and studying and respected each other.

(He was still really proud over the one time he made her laugh with his clumsiness during a research session, since Lydia was not called the "Icequeen" for nothing.)

(The bruise, which he got from this accident was so worth it.)

Stiles had even convinced himself, that Lydia didn't hold the same opinion of him as her boyfriend ("or the rest of the pack", a voice inside his head whispered), she just didn't speak up.

He should have learned by now to never expect anything from people.

* * *

 

 

They were sitting cross-legged in Lydia's room, Stiles on the carpet (, which was so soft. Like seriously, he felt like he was sitting on a big, fluffy cloud) and Lydia on the bed, laptops on their laps.

Both were researching the latest supernatural problem in Beacon Hills, faeries who for unknown reasons liked to scare people to near death.

Why couldn't even the faeries be not evil for a change?

(And honestly, what was it with these supernatural creatures and them always finding their way to Beacon Hills?)

And he was aware of the fact, that he was rambling again.

Talking about what he was doing, complaining about the things he could do instead of researching and trying to find solutions (for example study for the math test on monday!) , if the supernatural would just behave ONE time.

And he also realised, that he annoyed Lydia with it to no end and that he should probably stop.

(Which was not as easy as it sounded, it was just in his nature to always talk and his ADHD did not help with controlling it better.)

(And maybe, even if he would never admit it to anyone but himself, maybe he just wanted to test how long it would take her to snap. How long anyone could tolerate him and his quirks, before his personality would be too much to handle even for the girl, who always ignores anything and who was Jackson fucking Whitmore's girlfriend…)

But what he didn't expect was that when she finally lost control, that she would be so harsh.

"Stiles, if you don't shut up right now, I'm going to put bullet through your head."

Lydia's voice was ice cold. And while he was often told to shut up, he was never threatened with murder before.

And this really meant something as so many people complained that he was too loud, to hyper, too much in general.

Miss Sanders, his first kindergarten teacher, who had told his mom apologetically, that no her son could not stay longer in kindergarten, since Stiles would only disturb the other kids with his behaviour.

Or, his teacher in his second year in elementary school, who had hated boys in general as she detested rowdiness and loudness, but she hated his guts in particular.

Or his grandma, who had always compared him with his cousins, who were "so quiet and polite, Stiles, follow their example, if you ever want to go places."

And it did always hurt.

Every single time.

So, by know, it should have not been a suprise, that someone was able to be so annoyed at him, but it was still shocking to Stiles, that he was of so little value to people.

And it was not helpful, that his answer to situations like this were, to get louder and be even more.

It was not is fault, that he never learned to do things differently.

The look Lydia sent him, as he said goodbye, could have actually killed someone.

His hands were shaking the whole time, he walked home.

 

**5**

Nowadays, the pack meetings were the only anchors in Stiles life.

It was a little pathetic when he thought about what his life had become, about the fact that he was such a loser that those meetings were the only reason he left his house after school.

So he mostly didn't think about it.

(It was easier at day, when he would distract himself with school and video games and whatever else could grap his attention for a while.

But he could't prevent the thoughts and nightmares, when everything was quiet and dark at night and his demons would whisper in his mind.)

His sudden love for pack meetings was mostly because of the fact, that these gatherings were the only time, where he would get a glimpse of his friends (or "The Pack", he didn't even know anymore) outside of school.

Sometimes if he would present his research to them or if he asked the right questions, Scott would even look at him and smile a little, almost like he had done when Stiles and him had still been best friends.

(It was so rare now, someone looking at him with this expression on their face, that Stiles wouldn't even recognise someone being proud of him anymore.)

And it was amazing to watch Derek during pack meetings. Even though he still had all this broody looks and grims thing going on, more often then not, his eyes would twinkle and the corner of his mouth would twitch for a moment into a little smile.

And sometimes when Stiles did something especially funny or commented on something, this expression would be because of him.

Stiles had long given up on choking these warm feeling and ignoring the butterflies in his stomach, when this happened. It was more than pathetic, that in this moments he was the happiest in a long time.

So it was proably safe to say that pack meetings weren't only his anchors, they were also the only reason why he still felt like he was part of their little group, of The Pack, like he still belonged somewhere.

(And wasn't that slways his biggest wish, to belong, to not always be the odd one out, the weird one, the one with the crazy mum or the alcolohic dad.)

But, of course, eveything took a turn for the worse, since life hated him

(or maybe because he just didn't deserve better, he ruined so many lifes, destroyed Scott's innocence,worried his dad and killed his beautiful, so beautiful mum,who tried to hard to get better, but he just dragged her down until she thought he was a monster and until she just screamed and cried when she saw him and then the illness took her life and everything was his fault _stopstopstop_ ).

It was the third time within a month, that the pack appointed a date for the pack meeting without him knowing about it.

He had always realized something was up at the last possible second and got there at the right time, but still… He could have had already plans? (Yeah right…)

But a little warning would have been nice, maybe?

In retrospect he should have just accepted the little hints that the pack dropped for him. It would have spared him a lot of pain.

But he was always one to believe in the best of people so when they told him, that they had forgotten to tell him about it, he believed them every single time.

So maybe he was lucky that this happend to him he would have just continued to make a fool of himself.

* * *

 

 

Stiles tried to push his way through the crowd.

Fridays it was almost impossible to get through the hallways to the exit in under fifteen minutes with the masses of high school students searching through their lockers or standing at the wall chatting with their friends.

Stiles sighed deeply. Crowds made him uneasy.

When finally breath the fresh air in it felt like a little bit like freedom.

Almost in a good mood, he started walking to the parking bay, searching with his eyes for his jeep.

But instead of his car his eyes found two figures walking about 20 meters in front of him.

With a smile on his face he started jogging in their direction, trying to close up to the blonde werwolfe and the huntress (and when did these two get so close?), thinking about the idea he had for the next pack meeting, which he wanted to share with them for about three days now.

Before he could reach them, he heard his name brings uttered in their conversation.

Stiles frowned. Why were they talking about him?

Alison laughed at something Isacc had said.

" I know. I mean I'm human too, but at least I know how to protect myself and I'm also Scott's mate. I don't know why Stiles doesn't realise that he doesn't belong to the pack."

Stiles froze.

What? Not part of the pack?

He watched numbly as Allison jumped in her car, while Isaac was riding in the passenger seat, driving away, probably to the pack house, where they would all meet and laugh about dumb Stiles and him believing that he belonged to them, that he was worth enough to be a part of the pack.

He felt so cold suddenly.

He definitely wouldn't give the pack the satisfaction to throw him out, to humiliate him even further, it was better if he would just give up and leave them alone,even if it broke his heart.

Or at least what was left of it.


	4. +1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that you had to wait so long, but I finally finished the last chapter. Thank for everyone who read it or gave feedback, I'm really overwhelmed❤

+1

 

Stiles had always know that if Scott ever decided to leave him behind he would be completely alone.

It was always one of his biggest fears, that his best (only) friend would one day wake up and decide that Stiles was not good enough for the title anymore.

Of course, he would have never in his life thought that this would be connected to a group of people who were werewolves and banshees and not so murderous (at least not anymore) werewolf hunters.

But still, Stiles had always know that this day would come. (And is it not sad that he could never rely completely on the people in his life? Was there something wrong with him?)

However this didn't mean that it hurt any less.

Stiles had skipped the last five pack meetings (and it's not like anyone ever told him about them ) and had tried to ignore the "pack" in school.

And it was not like this was particular hard, since they never wanted to have anything to do with him anyway (they were probably relieved that he didn't spend time with them anymore).

The loneliness he had felt the last couple of months was even worse now, that he didn't even spend time with his "friends" at school and at pack meetings and only talked to his dad at home (whenever his father was actually at home. Stiles felt like nowadays the Sheriff only worked the whole day).

But the most fucked up thing is, even after everything Stiles still cared about the packs' wellbeing (and the wellbeing of their Alpha. Stiles was comfortable enough with himself to admit that he still felt something for the older man).

So Stiles spent his days after school researching on the Internet about supernatural creatures and ways to fight them, because he knew that when the next murderous supernatural being would find their way to Beacon Hills, the pack would need every help they could get. Even if it was from him.

This was his life now and he did accept that. (And if he was still slightly hurt that nobody from the pack had tried to contact him or talk to him, nobody would ever know. Why did he even expect them to? )

So figures that this time, like every time Stiles had accepted his life like it was, fate would decide to change everything.

 

* * *

 

It was Friday. Stiles was in the kitchen preparing some snacks for himself, which he would eat in front of his laptop, while watching some movies (until 2 am when his brain would finally shut down and he would be able to sleep, at least for a little while) like every Friday since he quit the "pack meetings". His dad had to work (another night shift. Stiles had found the note taped to the fridge when he came home from school).

Finishing in the kitchen, the light-brown haired boy struggled to climb the stairs to his bedroom while carrying two bowls of popcorn in one hand and his box set of the complete Harry Potter saga in the other, trying to push the door open with his foot, since he didn't have a free hand, eyes turned to the floor. When Stiles finally glanced up, the popcorn bowl fell out of his hand, splitting on his floor, the popcorn spreading everywhere.

There was werewolf in his room.

A very big, attractive werewolf in his bedroom on his bed.

"Derek?!"

Derek leaped up, looking at the mess on Stiles bedroom floor. His faced turned crimson and he stuttered: " Sorry I didn't mean to scare you. I just…" He didn't finish his sentence.

Stiles just stared. Derek Hale was in his bedroom, looking embarrassed, apologizing for scaring him, human Stiles. He must be dreaming.

He slightly pinched himself in his arm. It hurt. Strange.

"Derek, what are you doing here?"

The older man's face turned serious. "You weren't at the last pack meetings."

"And…?" Stiles answered, putting the other popcorn bowl and his movies on the floor, walking to his computer, which he left on his desk.

When he turned back to the Alpha, Derek looked confused. Stiles sighed inaudibly. Did he have to spell anything out? "What kind of supernatural being?" The werewolf looked even more confused. "What are you talking about Stiles?"

Okay so maybe Derek wanted to hear him say it. Maybe this was some kind of lesson from the Alpha to teach him his place in the pack or better his place not in the pack.

"You are here, in my bedroom. So you obviously need help with something. And if it's not some supernatural being what do you want then? Do you want me to talk to my dad? Find something out at the police station?"

Stiles was sure that Derek was able to pick up the faint traces of hurt in the air. Damn these werwolves and their supernatural abilities.

Stiles turned his face towards the older man. He was surprised that the Alpha looked pained.

Stiles felt his heart skip a beat.

How serious did the situation have to be, that even "I don't show emotions" Derek Hale looked at him like this?

Stiles jumped from his seat. "Did something happen to the pack? Is someone hurt?"

He may not be part of their friends group any longer, but he still cared about them and he certainly didn't want them to be injured.

Derek looked more angry than sad now. "Do you really think the only reason why I would come to you is because I need your help or someone is hurt?", the werewolf asked disbelievingly, still standing in the middle of the room. Stiles felt small under the Alphas eyes. "Yes…?", he said slightly uncertainly now. If Derek didn't need these things from him what did he want?

With wide eyes, Stiles observed how the Alpha, who just look unbelievably sad now, rubbed his temples and uttered with a choked voice: "Stiles, I'm so sorry. I fucked up." The human was just puzzled now. "I don't understand…"

"I know you don't Stiles", Derek replied, while walking up down the length of the humans bedroom","What do you think your place in the pack is?" He stopped in front of where Stiles was sitting.

Okay he knew that he was not of much value to the Alpha, but that was just mean.

"I know I don't have a place in the pack, Derek!", he exclaimed angrily, "You don't have to rub it in my face!"

Derek looked at him with tired and pained eyes. God Stiles never wanted him to look like this ever again. Immediately his whole anger left him. He was just tired now, wanting to crawl into his bed under his covers and sleep for like a week.

"Stiles", Derek said and suddenly the Alpha was kneeling in from to him, so close that Stiles was able to feel the werwolf's breath on his skin. The human took a deep breath, taking in Derek's herb scent.This would probably be the last time he would be able to be so close to the older man.

"Please, you have to trust that I never meant to hurt you.", the Alpha continued. "You don't have to apologize…", Stiles tried to interrupt him. "Yes, I have to", Derek answered grimly, his eyes blazing red for a second. The Alpha took his breath away and Stiles didn't even know why the red supernatural eyes looked as hot as they did. The human was uncomfortably aware that the Alpha in front of him picked up on his reaction, since he smirked for a second. Stiles blushed.

Derek looked serious again, taking a deep breath like he wanted to prepare himself mentally for what was to come. Stiles stomach turned. "You know I am very bad at expressing feelings.", Stiles nodded as Derek continued, "I know this is not an excuse, but I thought I would just test the waters before I would make a serious move to see if you are interested and with my history…", Derek broke up as Stiles just looked at him confused. What was the older man taking about? "I never knew that you were not aware of it. If I had known how you felt…", the Alpha shook his head before looking Stiles directly in the eyes," Stiles, I've been flirting with you for months." Stiles breathed in loudly. This was not what he had expected at all.

"What?", he whispered shocked, "Why would you…?"

"You are my mate, Stiles. I know I should have told you sooner, but I wanted you to have a life as a teenager and for you decide freely and not for you to sacrifice your life for me and to bind yourself to a man who is older than you and a murderer, because that's what you do, you always try to help anyone around you." Derek sighed, dropping his gaze. Stiles sucked a breath in, staring at the man at his feet.

"You are kidding me right?" The werwolves eyes flew to the humans face. Stiles stood up, walking to the werewolf. "Derek, I've been in love with you for months!" Stiles couldn't even blink, before Derek was standing in front of him, so fast did the Alpha get up, his face so close to Stiles own, that he only would have to lean forward to press his lips against Derek's. Stiles knew he was staring at the werwolf's face, but he could not look away. He could feel the Alpha's body heat and he knew that his breathing was becoming more and more swallow.

And then suddenly Derek was kissing him.

The Alphas lips were supringsly soft and moving experiencely against his own. Stiles sighed. He was so touch-starved and Derek was an extremely good kisser. Tentatively Stiles kissed back, compliantly opening his mouth, so Derek could slip his tongue into his mouth. The Alpha's hands were wandering to the back of Stiles head, keeping the human in place. Stiles moaned against the werwolves lips, heat pooling low in his gut.

It felt like an eternity until they separated.

Stiles breaths were coming out faster than normal and he knew that he was staring at Derek's face with a sappy look on his face. (Sue him he was allowed to do that. The Alpha just kissed him. Take that, Jackson.)

Derek was the first one to react. His face breaking into a grin that was so infectious that Stiles couldn't do anything but smile back. God he was so in love. (And how the hell could he have missed Derek flirting with him for months?)

"Do you maybe want to take this somewhere else?". Derek's voice suddenly interrupted his musings, the Alpha looking at him with an amused but fond expression on his face. Instantly Stiles became aware of the fact that they were still standing in the middle of his bedroom. He let his gaze drop to his bed and then raised his eyes back to the older man's face. "I'm not really… I'm not ready yet for anything…", Stiles stammered, his cheeks warming up.

Surprisingly the werwolf's face turned slightly red too. It was cute. "No not like that… Just because it would be more comfortable". When Stiles gave his okay, the Alpha took the younger man's hand, pulling him onto the bed and adjusting him until he was comfortably resting on the older man's chest.

"Derek", Stiles whispered after a while of them just enjoying the mutual silence, "If I'm your mate…", he paused to take a deep breath while Derek waited patiently, "Why did the pack say that I don't belong to it?" Derek exhaled sharply. "They said that?" Stiles just nodded.

"I knew that this could happen… I just never thought that it would happen to my pack…" Stiles turned around so he could look into the older man's eyes. "What can happen?", he asked. Running one hand through his hair the Alpha explained, "Sometimes when there is something wrong with the pack dynamics in general the pack can act strangely regarding their Alpha and especially concerning their Alpha's mate. They get jealous and possessive and try to exclude the mate from pack activities, since there's something wrong with the Alpha's relationship to his pack members."

Derek got this distant look in his eyes that he always got when he was blaming himself for something, that look that made Stiles chest constrict and made him want to hide the Alpha from the world. "Hey", he said, putting his left hand on the older man's cheek and smiling at him, "It's okay."

Derek looked at him with a serious expression in his face. "I'm so sorry Stiles. I swear I will make it up to you. And I'm going to deal with the pack, I promise." "Okay", Stiles agreed, "But I know that you didn't do it on purpose, Derek. And I don't blame you." The Alpha sighed, but he was smiling at the human, so Stiles turned back around, letting the older man spoon him from behind. He sighed happily, as Derek kissed the top of his head, feeling relieved and lighter than he had in months.

He knew that this wasn't a fairy tale and he wouldn't automatically live happily ever after just because Derek liked him back. Their relationship would still need a lot of work and he would need time to forgive the pack for what happened and his anxiety wouldn't suddenly be cured because of Derek, but for the first time in a long time Stiles felt like he might get a happy ending too.

**Author's Note:**

> Come and find me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/loraphie) loraphie :)


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